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Alcohol made my anxiety

Yesterday, I went to my second concert SOBER! And it was pretty easy – ya know why? Because I struggled but successfully got through the first one, AND I prepared my ass off both times. This time, even though I had been through it once before, I still rewatched the cravings video, meditated, and visualized the whole concert alcohol-free …because my biggest worry is that I will let my guard down one day and BAM!

Because I enjoy facing challenges (no I really, really don’t lol) – I am also attending a work dinner tonight. This is a dinner with a client that I have worked with for years but have never actually met in-person. My social anxiety is ramped up high.

The team I’m meeting must have mentioned “wine and dine…did we mention wine” like ten times by now. So I gotta figure out how to turn down the wine without making it awkward. This will be my very first experience being out with drinkers. I’ve been out places where people are drinking, but in the last 46 days, I haven’t been WITH people who drink. I think it will be good practice for two more occasions coming up soon.

I’m thinking these guys don’t know me well enough to ask why I’m turning down wine – BUT I gotta prepare for that regardless. I’m either going with “ugh no thanks – I won’t sleep for like three days if I have any”…or “no thanks – I’ve been fighting a sinus infection for two weeks, and I don’t wanna jinx anything”.

Ya know what’s funny. For twenty years, I’ve been drinking to “face my fears and handle anxiety”. And now that I don’t drink, I am doing SO many more scary things with SO much LESS anxiety! And each time I do something hard, it gives me this amazing confidence and I love myself even more for it. It’s like I’m watching a little kid learn how to “do life” and I’m all proud of her!

When I drank, I “knew” alcohol caused anxiety. But I didn’t really believe it. But here’s the proof! I’d have never gone to this dinner before! How ironic that they haven’t ever visited Atlanta until now…exactly when I’m prepared to handle the meeting!

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