Bland before Beautiful

I seem to be trying like hell to find some “way” to achieve numbness without alcohol. The first two weeks, I was in a newly-sober-high and I CAN’T GET IT BACK. “Normal” feels SO BLAND. I am so easily offended, cranky, and judgmental beyond belief right now. I keep drinking kava tea, seltzer water, taking bubble baths…trying to drown that little voice who is like “numb…I want numb”.